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Hearium
Lens · Straightness

What is omission in a conversation, and how do I recognize it?

also called: withholding, leaving out, lying by omission

Omission is when someone leaves out something that would change your decision, without saying anything false. You spot it not in a sentence but in a gap: what normally belongs in this kind of matter (costs, risks, conditions) simply never comes up. Everything said is true, yet the picture is incomplete and skewed because of it.

What it sounds like

You What does the contract cost me per month?
Them Just 19 euros, a great price for what you get.
You And is there anything else on top?
Them The 19 euros are exactly right. (leaves out the 24-month minimum term and setup fee)

How Hearium reports it

Omission

97%

Them Just 19 euros, a great price for what you get.

Omission exploits the fact that you don't know what you don't know. What is never mentioned can't be questioned, and that makes it harder to catch than an open lie.

How to respond

  1. 1

    Ask for the complete picture: "What else is part of this that I should know?" and "Are there conditions, deadlines, or fees?"

  2. 2

    Ask about what's missing, not what's present: for this kind of matter, term, risk, and exit belong in it, so raise them yourself.

  3. 3

    Get completeness confirmed: "Is that everything, or does something else come later?" makes a later gap nameable.

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Common questions

Is every omission manipulative?

No. Nobody can say everything, and much of it simply isn't relevant. It becomes a problem when the very thing left out is what would flip your decision, and the other person knows it.

How do I tell omission apart from a lie?

A lie states something false, an omission states something true and leaves out the rest. Both mislead, but omission is harder to prove because every single sentence is correct.

Related patterns

Your next important conversation won't announce itself.

The negotiation, the sales call, the hard moment with someone close to you. Next time, don't walk away uneasy. Walk away clear. Coming soon for iPhone.

Coming soon

iOS · on-device · available soon